Why am I still single? I’m still looking for my love song. I grew up singing along and dancing to American Bandstand. Music has always been part of my life. I imagine myself living love songs like “More than a Woman” (Bee Gees/Tavares), “God Only Knows” (Beach Boys), old Beatles classics: “I Wanna Hold Your Hand,” ‘Eight Days a Week,” and “P.S. I Love You.” My theme song of late has been Linda Rhonstadt’s “When Will I Be Loved.” Oh, and I can’t forget “I Wanna Know What Love Is” (Foreigner).
Yeah, I know. It’s like dreaming for Prince Charming. I can truly say I’ve never been “in love.” At 50-something, some may find that depressing. Am I missing something? I’ve been “in lust” and infatuated, but never truly “in love.”
Recently, I’ve come to realize that our happiness is in our own hands and I’ve stopped thinking that another human being is the key to my happiness.
I was a victim of great expectations. I expected too much from each relationship I had, and each expectation led to disappointments. If you don’t expect anything, when nothing happens, there’s no disappointment. But if something does happen, it’s a surprise.
But it’s not that easy, is it?
Remember that line from “Jerry Maguire,” “You complete me.” You don’t need someone else to complete you. Only God can do that. If you’re seeking to fill an emptiness inside you, you’re looking in the wrong place. It’s not so much what we’re missing is what we fantasize we’re missing. There is no fulfillment in 1, 2 or 3 night stands. There’s fulfillment in a good relationship not based on sex, but based on love.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ~ 1 John 4:8
Tho it would be nice to have a companion, it’s OK if I can find fulfillment on my own thru my relationship with God. We need to trust that God will bring us what we need — be it a relationship, job, security — in His timetable — not ours. God answers prayers, but it’s not always the answers we want to hear when we want to hear it.
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. ~ James 4:8
If you don’t have a relationship with God and Jesus, pray this prayer wholeheartedly right now:
Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and need you in my life. Please forgive me of my sins. I believe that You died on the cross and rose from the grave. Please come into my heart and life. Thank you for helping me turn from my sins and follow you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
If you received Jesus into your heart, welcome to the family of God! The following will help you deepen your relationship with Christ:
Pray. Just talk to God no matter where you are. He doesn’t care what the words are, just that they are sincere. Read the Bible everyday to learn about Jesus and how to live that pleases God. Start with 1 John, then the Gospel of John, the Philippians.An important part of helping your relationship with Christ grow is to tell others about Him. Demonstrate God’s love and be active in telling others about Jesus.Find a bible-based church and become active getting to know other Christians. Find one with a singles ministry or groups for people your age. Many have groups for different interests. Shop around, but commit yourself to finding one and joining a church family. (Read the Benefits of a Church Family).God Bless.
I welcome questions.
Check out my new column for singles at Phoenix Examiner.com