What Marriage is Not – Part 2

Why do people marry the wrong people for all the wrong reasons? Before you start looking for marriage, you need to know what marriage is not. Marriage will mend my broken heart. How long should you wait before you start dating after a divorce or death of a spouse? The “rule-of-thumb” is two years. Both death and divorce cause grief. Divorce also deals with guilt and anger. Grief, guilt and anger have to be resolved before you can move on. Otherwise, they are carried into the new relationship. The best thing is to meet with your Pastor first and see if you’re really ready for the dating scene. A good place to start is a group specifically for divorced or widowed people—many churches offer these. Check out the Singles Resource Guide for a list of websites and online discussion groups as well as your local paper. If you’re just dealing with a break-up from a dating relationship, the waiting period depends on how long you were dating. If it was less than a year, then the relationship wasn’t a well-rooted one and a few weeks or a couple of months should be sufficient. If the relationship was going on for several years, then it should be treated like a divorce. Guilt is concerned with the past, worry is concerned with the future and contentment enjoys the present. Marriage will make me happy. “Someday my prince will come…” Well, I’m still waiting! If you’re not happy as a single person, you’re not going to be happy married. Something is missing in your life and it’s not a spouse. You need to be happy with who you are and your life as it is before you can think of being happy as a married person. The Word of God changes people; marriage doesn’t. You need to call on God to lead you to happiness. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around and faith looks up. Everyone should be married. Not necessarily. It just might not be in God’s plan for you to marry. You need to pray and try to interpret God’s will for you. Is He leading you in the direction of marriage? If you’ve been single for a long time, you need to realize that marriage means a lot of compromise. It’s a whole different lifestyle that you will have to get used to. Talk with some of your married friends and see how they adapted. Remember, a good marriage founded in Christ can overcome all obstacles. With time, I can change my mate into someone I can live with. Wrong. That’s a responsibility that God didn’t intend for us to have. A person can’t change unless they want to. You need to let go and let God. The most important relationship of your life is not with another human being – it’s your relationship with God. If you are Christian and need to deepen your relationship with God, read the Bible or check out these books. If you don’t have a relationship with God and would like one, it’s easy. Just pray this prayer wholeheartedly:Dear Jesus,Come into my heart. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. I repent of my sins. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. If you received Jesus into your heart, welcome to the family of God! The following will help you deepen your relationship with Christ:Pray. Just talk to God no matter where you are. He doesn’t care what the words are, just that they are sincere. Read the Bible everyday to learn about Jesus and how to live that pleases God. Start with 1 John, then the Gospel of John, the Philippians.An important part of helping your relationship with Christ grow is to tell others about Him. Demonstrate God’s love and be active in telling others about Jesus.Find a bible-based church and become active getting to know other Christians. Find one with a singles ministry or groups for people your age. Many have groups for different interests. Shop around, but commit yourself to finding one and joining a church family. (Read the Benefits of a Church Family).God Bless,
Phoenix Singles Examiner


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