It’s been over a year since I’ve been unemployed (except for the 3 months contract at the start of this year). I’ve lost my house. I’m living in a friend’s spare bedroom and the majority of my stuff is in a storage unit.
I am grateful that my friend could take me in. I know that she’s going through financial troubles and can use the “rent” I’m paying and help with the electric bill. But I also know that it’s a challenge for both of us having to compromise. The space is tight. We’re close to Deer Valley Airport so there’s plane and helicopters flying overhead constantly. We’re near the 101 so sleeping with the windows open is rather noisy.
I know it’s a matter of getting used to it. But how long do I have to live like this? I know it’s better than living on the streets or moving back to Puerto Rico, but it’s still depressing. I’m sick of dealing with “the system” whether it’s DES or the health insurance company. It’s awful that we are at their mercy.
I know I need to trust God and not worry. I do trust God, and I really don’t worry. I just hate my situation. As soon as I have a job, I can find a nice, small house to rent and get into my own space.
I know God has a plan for me. For some reason, He’s having me go through this. I feel for the people out there who fall victim of the demons of desperation. I feel that desperation. The only difference is that with the Holy Spirit, I can control my actions and I keep still, quiet and patient. But sometimes I want to scream!
That’s when I go hiking.